Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Surviving Winter

The following was an e-mail I sent to my co-workers after four days of being trapped because of weather.....


Day One:   Snowing real hard, fire in the fireplace, real romantic, wonderful meal and wine.....and scotch!

Day Two: Snowing real hard. Had to go out and knock the ice and snow off the greenhouse and put panels back in place. Picked up dog poop with chisel and shovel because Popeye decided that frozen poop tasted good, damn dog. Frozen solid but after my fourth glass of scotch, feeling better. Helped MeMa build two jigsaw puzzles while watching the Olympics.

Day Three: Frozen solid outside, more poop to chisel out of ice, damn dog grazing like a cow. Back side of greenhouse had to be put back together. Tried to get garage door open by sticking shovel blade under door and prying up, broke shovel handle. Have built our third jigsaw puzzle....yippeee! Out of my favorite bread and dangerously low on scotch, hate this damn weather! 8:00 pm going to bed while MeMa works on puzzle and watches more Olympics. What's the big deal with ice dancing anyway? That American dude needs a haircut.

Day Four: How much poop can one dog eat? Don't care, stupid dog! Out of scotch. Looking at houses for sale in Arizona on the computer. Grand kids are coming for the day. Shit, did I mention I was out of SCOTCH? If it does not warm up and melt today please don't bring flowers to my funeral just poor scotch over my grave. If it is still like this tomorrow and I have somehow survived I will walk the ten miles into work. When do these damn Olympics end? Hope that long haired twit lands on his ass. Taking dog out to eat poop, I think I have a bottle hidden someplace in the garden shed.
Doc

14 comments:

  1. The weather is getting to you isn't it? I'm sorry but your post did make me chuckle.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I despise the weather when I am trapped inside, glad you got a chuckle.

      Delete
  2. When the thaw comes those dog pies will be even worse to deal with. You heard it here first.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me thinks the lady speaks from experience

      Delete
  3. And to think that I've had an unopened bottle of Glenlivet single malt sitting on my dresser for the last 10 years. Maybe we need snow and ice.... but don't send any!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unopened single malt? Glenlivet?? Unheard of!

      Delete
  4. Day one sounds great! Did you find your secret supplies or should we arrange to have some 'dropped off'?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When I managed to slip and slide out to the garden shed it was frozen shut as well.

      Delete
  5. What is with these dogs and poop? Poopsicles are better than other kind we have in sunny SoCal. Sorry, had to drop that in there. We have to have something to make up for the bloody traffic!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Welcome zooperson. Yes exactly my frustration as the little twit has never done this before and now that it isn’t frozen out he completely ignores it.

      Delete
  6. Hilarious !
    I think we've all got cabin-fever, but at least I've got scotch :)
    ~Jo

    ReplyDelete